Starting a
relationship is like going into a school. Your partner life becomes your text
book, and proper studying of your partner and passing the test and examination
of life will either make the relationship successful or a fail one. Having misunderstanding,
resentment, disagreement and quarrel are all spices that make a relationship
stronger; but when the disagreement and inability to understand each other becomes often, the strong feelings of love
will soon be fading away as no one wants to be with someone that does not
understand them.
WHAT CAUSES MISUNDERSTANDING: the major cause of misunderstanding is the
inability to accept and understand each other principles, each other likes and
dislikes, and also their mood.
Sometimes your
partner may just want to be alone, silent and quiet. Sometimes they are unhappy
because of the day work, stress, the economy situation, lack of money, or not
making progress at that particular time, some may need to be left alone at that
time, some may need attention when they are down, if you don’t understand their
mood, you may misunderstand the message they are trying to pass and pick an
offence which may lead to quarrel.
If you can
fully understand each other, know when you are in a play mood, sad mood, when
they mean stop it, when they say continue. When they really mean what they are
saying, and when they are saying it just to piss you off, if you can fully
understand them, then the high rate of not quickly understanding each other
will reduce.
Some men wants
to be the boss all the time, some may prefer to be soft sometimes and hard
other times. Some ladies prefer doing
all the house work, some may feel the man must do it, or assist a bit. The way
you relate to your partner in public, in presence of you friends and
family. if you fail to understand their
personality, likes and dislikes well, you will continue to have
misunderstanding which is uncalled for if you had truly understood them. Therefore
you need to understand how they are thinking at a particular time. How they
will think concerning certain issues, and act well on their behalf.
HOW TO SETTLE MISUNDERSTANDING:
1)
Always learn to say I’m sorry. Learn to say it sincerely, and act like you are
really sorry for the mistakes you’ve done. Saying am sorry does not make you
the weak one; it makes you the better emotionally matured partner. If you seek
peace and happiness in your relationship, it shows you truly love that person
and would not want to continue to be unhappy with them.
Sometimes
to keep the peace whether your partner is the one that causes the whole mess,
you can still call them and tell them you have forgiven them for their bad
attitude and speech towards you. you can tell them what they have done politely
and how mad you are with them but because of the love you have for them you
allowed everything to die off, but they should not upset you in that manner
again. Now, you are seeking peace while you are on the right side, which shows
your level of emotionally maturity, and a good partner you will become. That
does not mean you should be the one apologizing all the time. You don’t always
apologize to someone who loves you, they know when you are hurt, so they will
surely apologize when they know it.
2)
Learn To forgive early. No matter how you were offended learn to forgive
early. When you shove things off early, your love for each other will remain
strong. I have seen couples getting angry at each other for a very long time; some
almost lost it all because they felt hurt to the bones. The fact is when you
start having that hurt regularly, and keeping it love will deteriorates per
day.
True
love is like a strong fitted bullet proof, no bullet of insults, harsh words, or
bad attitude can easily penetrate into the bones. Whenever you feel offended,
try and dust it off, forgive early, don’t hold grudges. Just smile.
3)
Learn to calm
your temper down:
one good slogan lovers needs to put in their mind is, “No one is perfect” no
matter how we try to please each other we are not perfect, because you can’t
hundred percent please anybody. So when your partner offends you, please calm
down, see it as their trait of imperfection at that time. Be silent, be quiet,
just control your temper and wait until you get home; wait for a quiet time,
bed time, or whenever you feel the arena is serene to talk about the issue
without having a fight or quarrel.
When
your partner offends you and you retaliate immediately, if they are not in a
good mood at that time, they won’t give in to their mistake. But you were right;
you didn’t just put it in the right way because you are saying your point in
the wrong mood. So learn to be calm until you feel he/she is ready to listen to
your point. With this method you can settle amicably avoid quarrel, it will
look as if you two lovers are perfect, with no misunderstanding but the truth
is only you two knows how you settle thing without a fight or quarrel.
4)
Learn to talk things out: whenever you
feel offended don’t just keep it to yourself and live as if nothing has happen.
Learn to express your anger in words. You can control the situation by walking
away or overlooking their action, when you are calm tell your partner what makes
you unhappy, let them know you don’t like the attitude they showed you or the
words they have said, let them know you don’t like it. Learn to speak politely
when expressing yourself, let them know you are only doing this because you don’t
want to be disrespectful; you want them to calm down before expressing yourself,
you desire harmony in a relationship, let them know how you feel. Watch their
response. Someone that truly loves you and understand your point of view will apologize.
A matured person will know you have played the part as a positive desirable
lover. Everyone wants peace in love.
So,
don’t accumulate all the bad things your partner has done, waiting for the day
to explode. Just learn to say it out, express yourself.
5)
Learn to bribe your partner: one of the sweetest ways to settle misunderstanding
when you are wrong and can’t just come out to say I am sorry is to bribe your
partner. This is really funny right; it’s simple, think of what they had asked
from you before that you have not given them, think of what they like the most
and buy it for them. Take them outing to the place they wish and love to go,
there and then you can say, I am sorry.
Sending
them gift alone says am sorry, it shows you care, But don’t use this method too
often less it becomes useless, it will now look as if you are buying them off
and can’t say am sorry. Therefore to make it more romantic why buying the gift don’t
forget to tell them in their ears that you are sorry, it makes them feel more secured
and appreciated.
Most
times you don’t need to give gifts to show that you are sorry for what you have
done, if you are living together. Surprise them, those things they know you
will not normally do, do it for them, go to the extra mile, if it is washing of
cloths, cleaning the house, preparing a favorite meal, putting on their cloths,
just create a scene that will make them feel please and smile at you. Listen no
one in love is deeply angry at his/ her partner, it’s just a mild misunderstanding
that can be managed and resolved. Do something sweet at home for them, have you
try seducing them…. oops….
6)
Have good Sex: for married
couples, sometimes absent of sex or having sex for a long period of time separates
the heart. When that misunderstanding erupts, and words, gifts, talk, and all
the method you have tried do not work, have a good sex, a hot one. That will
calm all the temper down, by then you
can whisper in each other ear all the mistake and settled it amicably.
If we can
understand that love is a bullet proof, which nothing can easily penetrate into
it, we can avoid misunderstanding in a relationship. Don’t allow you anger gets
into your bones, learn to shake it off, its not that you cannot over react, but
because you want a peaceful relationship; be calm. It pays well to have a peaceful romantic
relationship, it’s what everyone desire, but only those who are ready to
understand that their partner is imperfect will achieve it. So whenever you
feel down, apply this method and see how it goes.
Do have a wonderful love life.