A LASTING MARRIAGE MUST HAVE THESE...

 

It is quite alarming with the global divorce rate, and young couples are still divorcing on daily basis because they lack some of the ingredients make up a good and lasting marriage. These days, some parents even encourage their children that divorce is the best option once their partner misbehaves.

Marriage is God’s plan for human to replenish the earth with his beautifully creature. It is meant to be enjoyable, peaceful, and fruitful. It is not meant to be a bondage. Majority of breakup that occurs today is as a result of lack the understanding of the ingredient, the criteria they need to possess to have a lasting marriage.

If you're single, engaged or married, you need to know some of these tips to boost your love life.

9 Tips To Have a Lasting Marriage:

1.  Be compatible to and with each other. Before you say I do, there must be selfsame attitude or a form of compatibility. You need to have compatible characters, mentality, belief system, values, vision, ambitions, and interests. You cannot be going right, and your partner is going left. You need to be on the same course. You should have similar likeness. Most times coming from the same background, or having similar upbringing helps on this. There must be something both of you like doing together. 

When you are compatible, you will play together more than you can imagine. There is this free flow of love and communication, you don’t stress yourself in liking your partner, you are free to say anything at any time without thinking of offending your partner because you know he/she understands you, because they know what you desire, the connection would be there without forcing or trying to create it. Couples that are always happy together are those that are compatible.

Lack of compatibility leads to discord in the house. If you guys do not admit the difference and try to change, to understand each other, there would be constant misunderstanding which may lead to someone getting their happiness somewhere else, which may lead to may lead to break up. So, if you are single, go for someone that match you. 

2.  Understanding and Tolerance: if you finally meet someone and you are not compatible or the person changes character overnight, you need to yearn for the spirit of understanding and also learn to tolerate the person. Remember you were not born the same day, with different upbringing, there is a tendency for everyone to see thing his/her separate ways. Even though you are compatible, there may be some trait in them that may not likely go well with you. You need to try and understand their person, tolerate them and accept them the way they are, it is not every trait you can totally change in a man/ woman, if it is not an unlawful habit, try and understand their personality and accept them the way they are.

Believe me, If you cannot tolerate any bull shit, then you are not fit to get married, because there are a lot of shit you will need to clean up to make your marriage stay strong and live long. Marriage is not as rosy as most people think or as most people portray it to be. It takes tolerance and understanding to make up a wonderful love life. So learn to understand your partner, tolerate them, but don’t forget to tell them the things you need them to change.

3. Your marriage should have the God factor. It is very simple, yet most couple neglects this. It is clearly stated; the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. God is the custodian and source of marriage and no marriage will last without his input. Nothing survives without its source. I know some people may not believe in God, but, fact has shown that the percentage of people that truly believe in God and act according to his words have a fear to breach their marriage vows, which makes them stick closer to their partner for better and for worse. 

Anyone that don’t fear God always walk in their own wisdom. You may be doing the wrong thing and making the wrong decision and think it is right. Bring God into your home, always put in the GOD factor, you will respect and honor your partner, you children will learn from it and become lovable couples as they grow up, you will live in love more than you think, because you can’t hurt you spouse when you know he/ she is the bone of your bone, the flesh of your flesh, both of you have become one body, soul and spirit. Remove God and your marriage and it will break in due time. The God factor makes us to think about humanity, about our spirit rather that following the crowd and flesh, as long as people are obedient to their vow they will not want anything to separate them. 

4. You must endures and pray always: Endurance is the ability of a person to exert itself and remain active for a long period of time, as well as its ability to resist, withstand, recover from, and have immunity to trauma, wounds, or fatigue. Remember society changes with time, so also is humans in marriage. Once your partner change due to one reason or the other such as distance, change of job, loss of job, children, bills, etc find a way to talk to them about it, don’t quarrel, don’t fight, express your feelings to them and see how you guys can go back to the old back lovers if possible. If they are cold hearted, probably they are cheating, or are carried away by the things of this world, and will continue in their own part, then apply the next weapon of prayers. The heart of a king is in the hand of the Lord, pray for them.

You need to learn how to endure till the end. Most times it is very difficult to change a man when they are doing the wrong thing. When it comes to a cheating partner, please note that not all such affairs are ordinary, that is why you need prayers to break that bond. Remember, given up is not an option, married couples that have stayed together for 20-50 years above, ask them, they will tell you the ups and downs they have been through and endurance and prayers was one of the keys that kept them together. So, you need to learn how to endure, and pray for a change and better days. 

5.  Fun through outing, looking good and sex:  Some couples the moment they get married, outing is out of their agenda, looking good reduces, their sex drive for their partner decreases, and they allow their job, the children, the economy takes away that sweet loving memories of love, they feel they are married now, no more time for such outings and fun, always thinking of how to make money without creating time to catch fun.

The truth is, true fun in courtship begins in marriage. As a woman, you are the apple of your husbands’ eyes, the queen of queens, and the rare angel. Your beauty and physique are part of the things that attracted your husband to you. After years in marriage, how many times have you asked your husband about your looks, how many times have you gotten commendations. Some women don’t know how to take care of themselves when they marry, they carry the problem of the house on their head and won’t even think about their beauty. Looking good and always young is part of the keys to hold your husband, he needs to always see that beauty and physique in you. So, find a way to work out, lose weight, or fleshed up if you can, make up and look hot and sexy for your hubby.

As a couple when was the last time you went out to have fun together. When did you take each other out for a drink, watch movies, or just stroll holding hands and discussing good old days? For your marriage to last you need to create time to have fun. There is a bond and communication link when you go out together. Having fun is not limited to sex. You need to know that sex strengthen marriage. Give you husband all the sexual position and pleasures he desires. See yourself as his whore, his girlfriend, his side chick, his bae, his wife, his everything. Give it to him very well as if you just meet, let all your sexual experience be remarkable. Ask him what he likes and give it to him, let him keep thinking it. As married couples, you can do everything and not feel guilty as if you are committing fornication or adultery. So please enjoy yourself, don’t deprive your partner of these pleasure. Lust after each other. If you go out together, plays together, and have good sex, there would be an effective communication link between you too.  Take your wife on vacation, take her to hotels, leave the children at home or with relatives for a day, go and have fun, do this often and it will strengthen you love. 

6. You MUST have the love factor: Before you marry, ask yourself, do I really love this person. Is he/she truly my missing rib? Do I like them because of the traits I see? What if after marriage they change, will I still love them? If yes, then your love for them is unmeasurable. If you are still contemplating in your heart if you truly love them or not, please take your time to think about it before you jump into marriage.

Love is the fundamental key that will keep your home. If you love each other, it would be very hard for external forces to separate the two of you. Once there is love, you will automatically trust your partner. Although these days we have couples that get married because of selfish reasons. You need to break out of that selfish reason to sustain your marriage. Try and put love in it. I know it is not easy to love if you want your marriage to last try as much as you can to love them. Loving and trusting your partner gives you rest of mind. It gives you total ownership of your partner.

 

7.    You MUST be humble and always listen to each other: As married couple you need to have a listening ear. Always try and listen to the issues bothering your partner and try to help them. When they start complaining about something that annoys them, try and listen to them and change. If you can’t change, try and make them to see the reasons why it will take you time to change or why you can’t change at all. Let there be mutual understanding between both of you.

A listening and humble partner solve 99 problem without stress. Some marriage that break today is because they refuse to humble themselves and listen to their partner. You guys are not competing, you must mellow down for each other to make the marriage last. 

8.  You MUST make sacrifice for each other: Don’t be selfish, don’t be the talk of the town all the time or the only achiever all the time. It should not be ‘I’ did or bought this with my money all the time. It should be ‘We’. The moment you have the ‘I’ factor, you will become selfish, and selfishness separates the heart. Selfishness creates chaos. The moment you are growing financially, career-wise ensure your partner grows with you.

    You need to learn how to plan everything together, no secrets. As a lady/woman learn to support your husband, even when you feel the decision he is making is wrong, allow him to finish discussing it with you, then you can tactically tell him why you feel the decision is wrong. When you counter your husbands plan all the time, he will hide some vital information from you. Be open minded, be a good listener and advise them with love. If you guys tell each other everything, and sacrifice your time, money, comfort for each other your marriage will last. Don’t be selfish, learn to make sacrifice today.

9.  You MUST learn to forgive: No man is perfect, even men of God will tell you that they are not perfect. If holy men that we look unto will tell you that they are not perfect, then, who is your wife/ husband that you want to be 100% perfect. 

Before you go into marriage kindly note that there are issues that will arise that will need you to forgive them easily, when I mean issues, I mean issues that may be against what you stand for. If you know you don’t have the heart of forgiveness marriage is not meant for you, because we err.

The ability to forgive shows the depth of your love for your partner. Bear it in mind that one way or the other they will upset you and even make you cry and regret. If they are sorry for their mistakes and apologies, try and forgive them. Let go of the bitterness’s and strong hatred let your first love for them wash away all their sins, love them again as ever before.

As if you err and you are been forgiven by a partner. Do not go back to the previous things that makes your lover angry. Ask yourself will you tolerate this if it happen to you. In conclusion, you must be compatible to fit be able to understand each other, you must learn how to make sacrifice, be humble and listen to each other, try and endure and pray together, learn how to catch fun by taking your partner out all the time, look good, look younger, have good sex, try and understand and tolerate each other, have the fear of God in you and always allow your love for your partner to surpass every other thing. Love is sweet, marriage is beautiful, plan it, pray for it, work on it, and have a blissful marital life.

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