Does Love Really Change A Person Inbuilt Character?

Everyone is born with a distinguishing quality or character that belongs to only them that can never change, no matter the place they find themselves. They can hide the trait for a while, pretend not to have it because of what they want to get from their partner. Sometimes, they may try to forcefully stop it, but over the years, they realise that they never change from their true self. Please don’t blame them, because that’s the real them, anything outside that is fake.

The effect on people character result from the environment, the family, the culture they grew up with, the things they involve themselves in while growing up. This act and habit becomes part of them, it either make others to rate them as good or bad. Nevertheless, one thing I have come to understand in life is, whether you are good, ugly or bad, there is someone created to love you the way you are.

We have seen scenarios where people go into relationship and marriages with the hope that their partner would change, or they can change their partner in marriage.  If you believe a man or lady would absolutely change from who they are to what you want after marriage, you are just deceiving yourself. Experience has shown that if they can’t change in courtship don’t expect them to totally change in marriage. The little things you dislike and complain about now, if you refuse to tackle it when you are still dating, it would turn into a bigger issue when you finally get married.

A good courtship is the bedrock of a successful marriage. But, most people that knows ‘’love is blind’’ seem to notice the negative trait in their partner that do not conform with their principles, yet they fail to curb it. You know the criteria you need in a life partner, you know your weakness, and you need someone that would complete you. Someone to rely on, someone to trust, when you meet someone with a diverse character, and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, you need to know how to change them so that both of you can fit.

Marriage is eternal, you are not supposed to get married and divorce. So, before you jump into it, endeavour to tackle any trait you don’t like. Learn to tackle things while you are still dating, tackle it now or never, you know what you don’t like in a partner, say it out, express yourself. If they can’t change while you are dating, they may never change in marriage.

If you are not getting that joy, the money and comfort while dating, don't expect to get it in marriage. If they do not place you as high priority in courtship do not expect it in marriage. If they beat while dating, expect it in marriage. it is a give and take thing, majority of the things you get while dating gets bigger or decreases in marriage. That’s why you need a real partner, a staright forwarward partner not a pretender.

So, know what you want, know what you can and can’t tolerate. Majority of divorce is as a result of intolerable unchangeable attitude that they fail to tackle while dating.

There are two ways to tackle the problem.

1.    Teach them what you want and ensure they change: There are some unpleasant attitude, actions or habit that some people cannot take in their partner. Some people don’t like someone that drinks alcohol, someone that smokes, a talkative, a hot-tempered person, stingy partner, a luxurious spender, some hate this habit and character because of their religious or cultural belief.

You know the trait you don’t like. When you finally meet the one you love. You need to tell them the truth and give them the reasons why you don’t like that bad habit, and trait they possess. Bear it in mind that they will not automatically change, it takes a gradual process. Just give them time, tell them how much you love them and how their changes can make your love world a better place on earth.

You can put them in prayers as some habit or trait might be spiritual, so pray for them to change. With time they will change. note that, 80% of them that change are those that were not born with the trait. They learned it while growing up. They pick it up from the society. They will change because of their love for you.

2.    Love them the way they are: True love can calm some people down, it can reduce their reaction, but can never change them. When you come across a lover that refuses to change, you need to understand their person, and know that, no one is perfect. Sometimes their negative trait might be useful when the need arise.

That trait or habit you don’t like, there are others out there that truly likes them the way they are. While don’t you try and show some love and accept them the way they are. Statistic has shown that happily married couples that live for 30 to 40 years in marriage and moree are those that accept their partner the way they are. They are rough, tough, bad as some other people may rate them, but they love eachother the way they are because they do not pretend.

Therefore, you need to like them for been original.  Understand their character, appreciate them, and you will have a total peace of mind.

Marriage is sweet, although it may not be rosy at all time, it is glorious. Decisively, ensure to tackle the things you cannot carry into marriage and try to accept your partner the way they are before you propose or say, Yes, I do. People that pretend before marriage always show their true colours after marriage. Don’t allow anyone to bamboozle you that they are better than the one you think are bad. Get wisdom, get understanding. Love is free, your happiness matters a lot in marriage.