HOW TO SETTLE MISUNDERSTANDING IN A RELATIONSHIP

 

Starting a relationship is like going into a school. Your partner life becomes your text book, and proper studying of your partner and passing the test and examination of life will either make the relationship successful or a fail one. Having misunderstanding, resentment, disagreement and quarrel are all spices that make a relationship stronger; but when the disagreement and inability to understand each other   becomes often, the strong feelings of love will soon be fading away as no one wants to be with someone that does not understand them.

WHAT CAUSES MISUNDERSTANDING: the major cause of misunderstanding is the inability to accept and understand each other principles, each other likes and dislikes, and also their mood.

Sometimes your partner may just want to be alone, silent and quiet. Sometimes they are unhappy because of the day work, stress, the economy situation, lack of money, or not making progress at that particular time, some may need to be left alone at that time, some may need attention when they are down, if you don’t understand their mood, you may misunderstand the message they are trying to pass and pick an offence which may lead to quarrel.

If you can fully understand each other, know when you are in a play mood, sad mood, when they mean stop it, when they say continue. When they really mean what they are saying, and when they are saying it just to piss you off, if you can fully understand them, then the high rate of not quickly understanding each other will reduce.

Some men wants to be the boss all the time, some may prefer to be soft sometimes and hard other times.  Some ladies prefer doing all the house work, some may feel the man must do it, or assist a bit. The way you relate to your partner in public, in presence of you friends and family.  if you fail to understand their personality, likes and dislikes well, you will continue to have misunderstanding which is uncalled for if you had truly understood them. Therefore you need to understand how they are thinking at a particular time. How they will think concerning certain issues, and act well on their behalf.

HOW TO SETTLE MISUNDERSTANDING:

1)     Always learn to say I’m sorry. Learn to say it sincerely, and act like you are really sorry for the mistakes you’ve done. Saying am sorry does not make you the weak one; it makes you the better emotionally matured partner. If you seek peace and happiness in your relationship, it shows you truly love that person and would not want to continue to be unhappy with them.

Sometimes to keep the peace whether your partner is the one that causes the whole mess, you can still call them and tell them you have forgiven them for their bad attitude and speech towards you. you can tell them what they have done politely and how mad you are with them but because of the love you have for them you allowed everything to die off, but they should not upset you in that manner again. Now, you are seeking peace while you are on the right side, which shows your level of emotionally maturity, and a good partner you will become. That does not mean you should be the one apologizing all the time. You don’t always apologize to someone who loves you, they know when you are hurt, so they will surely apologize when they know it.

2)     Learn To forgive early. No matter how you were offended learn to forgive early. When you shove things off early, your love for each other will remain strong. I have seen couples getting angry at each other for a very long time; some almost lost it all because they felt hurt to the bones. The fact is when you start having that hurt regularly, and keeping it love will deteriorates per day.

True love is like a strong fitted bullet proof, no bullet of insults, harsh words, or bad attitude can easily penetrate into the bones. Whenever you feel offended, try and dust it off, forgive early, don’t hold grudges. Just smile.

3)     Learn to calm  your temper down: one good slogan lovers needs to put in their mind is, “No one is perfect” no matter how we try to please each other we are not perfect, because you can’t hundred percent please anybody. So when your partner offends you, please calm down, see it as their trait of imperfection at that time. Be silent, be quiet, just control your temper and wait until you get home; wait for a quiet time, bed time, or whenever you feel the arena is serene to talk about the issue without having a fight or quarrel.

When your partner offends you and you retaliate immediately, if they are not in a good mood at that time, they won’t give in to their mistake. But you were right; you didn’t just put it in the right way because you are saying your point in the wrong mood. So learn to be calm until you feel he/she is ready to listen to your point. With this method you can settle amicably avoid quarrel, it will look as if you two lovers are perfect, with no misunderstanding but the truth is only you two knows how you settle thing without a fight or quarrel.

4)   Learn to talk things out:  whenever you feel offended don’t just keep it to yourself and live as if nothing has happen. Learn to express your anger in words. You can control the situation by walking away or overlooking their action, when you are calm tell your partner what makes you unhappy, let them know you don’t like the attitude they showed you or the words they have said, let them know you don’t like it. Learn to speak politely when expressing yourself, let them know you are only doing this because you don’t want to be disrespectful; you want them to calm down before expressing yourself, you desire harmony in a relationship, let them know how you feel. Watch their response. Someone that truly loves you and understand your point of view will apologize. A matured person will know you have played the part as a positive desirable lover. Everyone wants peace in love.

So, don’t accumulate all the bad things your partner has done, waiting for the day to explode. Just learn to say it out, express yourself.

5)   Learn to bribe your partner: one of the sweetest ways to settle misunderstanding when you are wrong and can’t just come out to say I am sorry is to bribe your partner. This is really funny right; it’s simple, think of what they had asked from you before that you have not given them, think of what they like the most and buy it for them. Take them outing to the place they wish and love to go, there and then you can say, I am sorry.

Sending them gift alone says am sorry, it shows you care, But don’t use this method too often less it becomes useless, it will now look as if you are buying them off and can’t say am sorry. Therefore to make it more romantic why buying the gift don’t forget to tell them in their ears that you are sorry, it makes them feel more secured and appreciated.

                           

Most times you don’t need to give gifts to show that you are sorry for what you have done, if you are living together. Surprise them, those things they know you will not normally do, do it for them, go to the extra mile, if it is washing of cloths, cleaning the house, preparing a favorite meal, putting on their cloths, just create a scene that will make them feel please and smile at you. Listen no one in love is deeply angry at his/ her partner, it’s just a mild misunderstanding that can be managed and resolved. Do something sweet at home for them, have you try seducing them…. oops….

6)   Have good Sex:  for married couples, sometimes absent of sex or having sex for a long period of time separates the heart. When that misunderstanding erupts, and words, gifts, talk, and all the method you have tried do not work, have a good sex, a hot one. That will calm all the temper down,  by then you can whisper in each other ear all the mistake and settled it amicably.

If we can understand that love is a bullet proof, which nothing can easily penetrate into it, we can avoid misunderstanding in a relationship. Don’t allow you anger gets into your bones, learn to shake it off, its not that you cannot over react, but because you want a peaceful relationship; be calm.  It pays well to have a peaceful romantic relationship, it’s what everyone desire, but only those who are ready to understand that their partner is imperfect will achieve it. So whenever you feel down, apply this method and see how it goes.

Do have a wonderful love life.